Not only that, but not one single sales person came up and asked us if we needed help as we were idiotically trying to figure out how the strollers folded up (thanks to my husband for figuring out how all 4 worked!). I have to wonder though...was I imaging people staring at us due to my own self awareness because we do not look like "typical" parents, or did it really happen? Hard to say at present moment in time. The only person who did not seemed phased by us was the gentleman who nicely told us how much the crib we liked will cost.
So, adoptive parents out there - am I crazy or did you feel like this sometimes too? I, of course, will get over this, but was curious about how others felt.
On the plus side, the crib we like is finally going to be in store sometime this week, so next Sat. will be another trek out to the store to take a look at it:) We have finally narrowed it down to 2 sets. I also picked out a diaper bag (Jamie already chose his). I know it is a bit soon, but I am actually going to use it for work:) Multi-tasking - I love it.
And here is where all of you will find out what big dorks Jamie and I are. Here are the diaper bags (yes they match - unintentionally. Mine is the tote):
I have to say though, they are both roomy enough for clothes, diapers, toys, my purse and personal effects, and Jamie's (on the top) can be used as an overnight bag for the Little Guy. I know, you all can laugh at us:) And incidentally, our car is a Jeep, too.
Hope everyone is having a great weekend!
PS - there are some fellow bloggers who post to our site, and I would love to post back, but you have private blogs (which I completely understand and we are thinking of doing). If you are willing, could you please send us an invite? All of your comments have been so great and supportive, but I have no way to thank you personally.
16 comments:
YES I did feel that way too. The only times anyone ever asked if we needed help was at a small boutique were we ordered our furniture which took FOREVER. And I think at Babys R Us once (and we frequent it, suprised I've not been arrested for stalking), when we were looking at carseats. The guy probably thought we were purchasing something for our grandchild.
Yes, I'd like to meet kitzkazventure who's been posting on your blog too- can you send me an invite to at mattruley@yahoo.com? Thanks!
Yes, I have freaked out a few sales people by saying that "the baby should be here sometime in February" and have them look at my flat belly like - uh, you don't look that pregnant... I get a secret chuckle out of it.
Hi, I'd be happy to invite you to my private blog. Please email me at smooretexan@yahoo.com
Best, Susan
We bought our crib at babies R us, and we were approached if we needed help, but we said, no, we were just trying to decide. No one looked at us funny, but if they did, I would have proudly told them, I AM ADOPTING A BABY! In fact, I think i did tell the girl at the check out line. Everyone is all interested in it. I only had one weird rather negative comment and it was from this kid in our neighborhood's mom-and she is weird anyway. And, the kid beat up on my son the other day anyway so I now I really don't care cuz they're both weird. :)
I find sales people in general aren't helpful anymore, you have to ask. So, don't be offended, i think it's also just the nature of the stores these days.
I sent you an invite to my blog, cuz i made mine private awhile ago. :)
I love the diaper bags-so cute!
My son is 9, and my diaper bag with him was ugly..a winnie the pooh bag, but i loved it.
This time around my friend who sews is making me one, so I am excited. :)
Well, being a tad on the plump side, I didn't get any stares but I stll felt odd asking about things. And, going blind to Kaz really hindered the shower and gift-getting thing (especially coming home with a toddler) so just go out there and demand attention ....Claim your Joy....you deserve it after the Dossier prep! As an aside, ask for gift-card showers so you can at least buy some of the stuff you need before you go without using all of your reserves that you might need in Kaz. Or, go register for the stroller and the bags you want and have people get those for you. I think we adoptive parents should now promote pre-adoption parties that can help buy all of the meds and stock-up items you need on that long list you get from your agency.....
Sorry, that didn't really go with the topic but it is something you will think about being an adoptive parent....all experiences are different and some I dare say are better than "the norm".
OK, now, We are not private (yet), I just don't know how to have our blog come up on the thing when you click on our comments so....
our blog is http://kitzkazventure.blogspot.com/
We were in Kaz in Feb/March/April of 2007 if you want to read the adoption stuff ....we were just finding out our region at this time last year so this could be some of you soon!!! If anyone gets Zhezkazgan (karaganda region) let me know...we will fill you in!Trust me, as cold as it is, you will prefer the cold to the warm weather (no window screens, open markets, and no air conditioning) :)
Karen Kitzman (Nick's mom)
Very cute camo diaper bags!
We had a very differently negative experience at Babies R Us with the checkout girl. When I mentioned we were adopting, she said something like "Oh, I have a friend who was about to resort to adoption after trying to get pregnant, but she tried one more time and finally did it!" It felt like she was trying to encourage me that yes, I too just might get pregnant. She never said congratulations or anything! I just politely said "Oh, we don't WANT to get pregnant. We WANT to adopt." She seemed completely dumbfounded. They should train their employees to be much more sensitive to all types of family formations!
In contrast, when we bought our sling while on vacation in Portland, Oregon, the wonderful woman approached us by saying, "Is there a baby coming into your lives?" When we said yes and how, she was sincerely as happy for us as she could possibly be.
I always had that same feeling. It seemed like the ladies with the big prego bellies or with a baby in the shopping cart "belonged" in Babies R Us and I did not. Of course we belong there just as much even if people can't tell we do.
We're travelling blind but taking some baby clothes with us. A couple times while shopping, I've had sales people and other customers casually ask about the age, gender, or name of my child. I love the expression on their faces when I respond with "I don't know."
I had a few people look at my flat belly and then ask when I was expecting. I chuckled at that. One time I played along though. She looked at my belly and asked when I was expecting. The current month was October. I told her I was expecting a girl in July. :-) She gave me a confused look, but didn't probe further. Since she took it so well, I finally told her we were adopting. She had a great big smile then for us.
We did so much of our shopping in advance though (registered in Feb for a July baby) that even if I had been pregnant, I wouldn't have really been showing much. When sales people asked when I was expecting and I answered, "July" they didn't blink.
One time I was at Babies-R-Us, and the check out girl asked us a question which made me have to mention we were adopting. All of a sudden she was gushing and talking loudly and telling us how she was pregnant but her father wouldn't let her keep the baby, and the boyfriend left, and how does adoption work, and she's interviewing couples, and... blah, blah, blah. It was rather embarassing, but at the same time it was sweet as she was just a kid- a very naive one who was just doing her best to search for answers albeit rather exuberantly.
If you were in Babys-R-Us then it is not you, they just suck at customer service. I went a few other places and was always helped but again I am bigger. I know you think your diaper bag has plenty of room (it is very cute by the way)but wait until you have a kid and all the things you need to fit in there...it is insane. I never thought we would fill ours up but we sure did. The Kitzmans are awesome so definately check out theri blog!
We ordered our 4 in one crib, toddler bed contraption online. It was delivered by UPS. Our UPS driver is an adoptive parent. He has a boy age 5 from Ukraine and a girl age 3 from Korea. Our driver’s known about our adoption for quite some time and has been a fabulous inspiration to us. He’s also a reader to our Blog.
Our business and home are on the same property. You have to drive past the office to get to the house. We get deliveries almost everyday to the business, but only once in a while for home. When the bed arrived I saw our UPS truck drive by the office and down to the shop. When I met him at the house, it was hilarious, he said “I’ll go ahead and bring all the baby stuff down here”.
For us it feels weird to be baby/toddler shopping. After all we are grandparents! (Bob started young and has 3 adult kids). Plus we’ve done the baby set up once. Bed, changing table, stroller, high chair etc. We got rid all of it when conception and carrying a child full term (2 miscarriages) just was not going to happen. More than once we’ve asked ourselves if we are crazy for getting ‘ready’ again….. But we are! In fact Alex just got a new toy last night.
I am sticking my $.02 about what to take from the post below. Take a cheap umbrella stroller as they are expensive there. Most everyone will tell you that. We took a pack too to carry him but it turned out that we got large 8mth old who weighed much too much to carry. The stroller can be used for entertainment, feeding chair and is invaluable in the airport. If you get there and dont need it what's the worst, you leave it there. Take mix and match clothes and just wear them over and over again, they do. That will leave more room for other stuff and the washers will wear out your clothes there in due time. Do take little kleenex packs like the other lady said as TP is rare in public or you may pay "as you go" seriously you get like 4 tissues for 10cents. I got sick, food poisoning, and had to pay for TP each time I entered the bathroom. I even had the translator tell the lady and she didn't care. You do need to take over the counter meds like Pepto, Asprin etc and for the baby oral gel teething swabs came in real handy. Well that was more like $1.00 worth so I will go now :) If you need some help feel free to email us at jaimiegena@yahoo.com or see our Berik at www.berikjames.blogspot.com Sincerely, Gena and James Lloyd
I was just thinking of this the other day. I felt the same way. I just knew that if I was in a store looking at baby stuff, someone would come up to me and say, "but you aren't pregnant. You aren't supposed to be here!" Sounds silly but I felt very out of place even while in Kaz at the baby store. Not until we had our little bundle of love with us did it feel "OK" to shop for the little guy. I think it's totally normal even though it stinks.
I really like your bags, especially the tote.
We TOTALLY had that same experience. The first time we went into Babys R Us we were floored at how we felt ignored and out of place. There were parking spots for "expectant mothers" in the handicap zones and I wondered if we parked in one of those spots if I'd get in trouble. I was appalled by the feeling of invisibility. And, nervous because I was wearing a big, oversized shirt and I was post-infertility treatment and had gained weight and I thought that if someone suggested I was pregnant I'd jump out a window! It was awful.
The first time it felt "ok" at all was when we went in with Aila a few days after we came home. The whole thing was so odd.
I'm totally with you!
Hey guys,
Would you email me (jennylri@yahoo.com) your home address? Want to add you to our xmas list - which this year is changing to an adoption announcement list. Hope that is ok and thinking of you!
did you get your surpise from your secret blog pal? Fed ex told me they delivered it tdoay, and left it at your front door. Just checking.....
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