Bittersweet

First off, I need to apologize for taking so long to update. Jamie and I have not been around that much on the weekends and the weekdays have left me little time to blog!

I was going to announce this privately, but seeing how I have taken so long for that, I am just going to announce it publicly.

It is with a bittersweet voice that I write this: Jamie and I are putting our Kaz adoption on hold at the moment. As many of you readers know, Jamie and I started this process almost a year ago. In that time, we have endured some rough patches and were frustrated, but not downtrodden.

Well, here is where it got a bit interesting for us. On March 12th, we found out something we thought was impossible had happened. We found out that I was pregnant!! Imagine our shock and surprise!! We were told a while ago that this was all but impossible for us. So, this was, to say the least, very unexpected but a very welcome surprise. I still have days where I don't believe it (except for my ever expanding belly as proof)!!

But while being excited about the new Baby M, I cried for my son who is still waiting for us in Kaz. I just have to believe that everything happens for a reason, and that for some reason, this year was not the year to meet our son in Kaz.

After much talking, Jamie and I decided that it would be very difficult for us to adopt this year, so we talked with our agency and the adoption is on hold. We were excited to find out that we had a year to start the process back up again:) So, for now, the adoption is on hold, but certainly not forgotten. Jamie and I still plan to adopt from Kaz as we know in our hearts this is something we want to do, and are hoping to join the ranks of Kaz adoptive parents in 2009/2010:)

I just wanted to thank all of you who have read this blog, posted such wonderful and positive comments, and have supported us through everything. It has meant the world to us. This is such a wonderful community of parents & friends, and we look forward to sharing this journey again with you in the future.

This site will remain up and public, but I will be suspending posts until we start the Kaz process again. In the meantime, we will be creating a private blog for following the pregnancy. If you would like an invite to the new blog, please let me know in the comments section, or email me personally.

Thank you again for all the support! I wish everyone well in their upcoming journeys, their bonding periods, and their return home. I will still be reading and following up on everyone:) Best wishes!!

Time to Privatize

Hi Fellow Bloggers, family and friends! I know we have not blogged in a while, but I wanted to let you know that we have not fallen off the face of the Earth and I have been keeping up on all of my fellow bloggers in the adoption world:)

This past month and half has been very trying and full of surprises for me and Jamie. Due to personal reasons, Jamie and I have decided to take our blog private. If you would like an invitation, please leave your email address in the comments section, or email me personally.

I hope all is well with everyone in the adoption blogging world:) And a special shout out to Matt and Suzanne who are in Ust right now bonding with their children - I am thinking about you everyday and pray that all continues to go well:)

Trials, Tribulations, and a Nursery

So, I know I have been out of the blogging sphere for a little while now...but I am back:) Let's just say this last month has been a bit hectic on the personal front and a bit disheartening on the adoption front. Just when you think you are making progress with the adoption process...bam! You get derailed.

We were about to start redoing our dossier paperwork again when I heard the news that the DC Embassy (who experienced a staff change) might not accept new dossiers until the new staff was trained. I immediately sent an email to our great caseworker and she suggested we not sign or notarize any of our paperwork until at least March. I was waiting to hear from her to see if we can start prepping paperwork this week or if we should still wait when we got another piece of news.

A fellow PAP (she is awesome!!) who is about a week behind us in the process called CIS here in IL to see about the I 171-H status and she was told that they are only on dossiers submitted the second week of January. We submitted to CIS the first week of February. As of Friday it looks like we are looking at another 3-5 weeks before CIS approval comes in. If that is the case, then we are holding off on paperwork until mid-March. Of course this means that dossier submission likely won't take place until April, and then it will be about 6 months from that point. Looks like we might not be hitting Kaz until Sept/Oct. A bit frustrating to say the least. Now I know this process is full of ups and downs, but between our experience with our first agency and then feeling like we were making progress, and now being at a standstill again, I am just frustrated. I know though in the end everything will work out the way it is supposed to, but I reserve the right to be angry at the moment anyway:)

On a better note, we have made significant progress with Vaughn's room, and we are really excited! It is a bit tough since we will not have our little guy for a while, but it gives us some time to finish the nursery. The pictures above the crib are vintage baseball posters that Jamie has had since he was a kid (his mom got them for him and they were a limited edition). We are pretty excited about how it is all coming together and are looking forward to finishing it. Here are a few in progress pictures:

Even with all the ups and downs of the past month, I have had a great month personally. We went to IA to see our very good friends and their daughter, then we put Vaughn's room together with my parents, I went to Bon Jovi with our really good friend Ted, I got to hang with my two beautiful nieces this week, and this weekend I had a girls' weekend with one of my oldest friends, and I went for coffee today with a friend who I have not seen in about 3 months. So all in all - a great month even with setbacks:) Here is an adorable picture of my day with my nieces while we were at "The Bean" in Chicago:

Here is hoping for some good news in early March from our good friends CIS!!! Like they say, you never know....

Calling All Rock Stars!

So, anyone who knows Jamie and I really well, knows that we love classic rock. Led Zeppelin is our favorite band and we had been trying to figure out how to incorporate our favorite rock bands into our little guy's life. Recognizing that many of the bands do not have lyrics that are appropriate for little ones, this was a challenge. Until recently. I was at Pottery Barn Kids and saw a CD that changed everything!

It was the songs of Coldplay made into instrumental lullabies for babies:) How cool is that? So, of course I bought it and, let me tell you, it is awesome! Great for the little guy to fall alseep to or just listen to in the car. I went on their website yesterday, and they have some really great bands that they have converted to lullabies. For those of you who love rock, or are looking for something different, this site is for you:

http://www.rockabyebabymusic.com/web/page.asp

We wound up buying Led Zeppelin, the Rolling Stones, Tool, and No Doubt (one of my favs) for the little guy! We can't wait for the CDs to get here so we can listen to them! We have an ongoing list of others that we would like to buy, and they are coming out with some new ones, so check back often.

My very good friend Jill sent me the link to this website after I forwarded her the Rockabye one (we have very similar tastes in music and all things baby!). It is way cool, and we are definitely going to buy this as well for our budding rocker musician (my fervent hope is that Vaughn plays guitar or drums)! I'm just happy that someone has thought to create a cd and dvd like this. Check it out:

http://www.thatbabydvd.com/

Last but not least, another cool website for rock lovers like us, or those who have an appreciation for vintage inspired clothing, is for a store here in Chicago called Stinky Pants. Great rock T-shirts and cool onesies for babies and older. A bit on the expensive side, but I think some of them are worth it for sure (like "My Aunt is a Hottie". Vaughn will have 3 Aunts who are hotties so this is appropriate)!! This is also thanks to Jill who bought a very cool Guns 'N Roses T-shirt for our good friend's little boy:

http://www.stinky-pants.com/

That is all for my web knowledge today:) I just wanted to share a cool few sites with everyone. I hope everyone has a great weekend!!

Best wishes for those who are in country, about to travel (Amy!!!), waiting, and paperchasing! As they say, good things come to those who wait! I am happy that the wait is over for many of my fellow bloggers:) Happy travels soon to many of you - we can't wait to join you in the ranks!

PS - I bought Vaughn his first offcial outfit from Mom & Dad:) We can only hope that the size (6-12 months) will fit him! Here it is:

Double WOOT!!

Great news on the adoption front! Yesterday we learned that we made it through approval #1!! DCFS in IL approved our home study so it is now on its way to USCIS!! That means (hopefully) in 4-6 weeks, we will have our 171H!!! And shortly after that our dossier will be on its way to Kaz!!

Joyous news indeed:) I love progress!!!

WOOT!!!!

HOLY COW!!! MY BOYS JUST WON THE SUPERBOWL!!!!

CONGRATS TO MY G-MEN!!! GREAT GAME AND GREAT WIN!!!!!

I love the sound of it - NY Giants, Superbowl Champs:)

SBP and Odds & Ends

I just have to say (again) that my SBP rocks!!! My SBP sent me and Jamie some very yummy cookies and brownies from the Dancing Deer Company:) Just what we needed for the end of the week! We are so grateful for everything that our SBP has given us!! We can't wait to being Vaughn his gifts from SBP:)

This weekend was absolutely fantastic. We made some progress on the last bit of dossier docs, which makes me happy. Then, on Saturday night we got to meet two of the coolest couples who have adopted from Kaz and their kids: Muriel, Jerry & Sophie and Debbie, Jay & Sean. Sophie and Sean are two of the most adorable kids ever! They just followed each other around and Sean kept giving Sophie kiss after kiss (which Miss Sophie did not seem to mind). Too cute:) We had a great time, laughed a ton, and got great info on adopting from Kaz! Jamie and I hope we get to see them all again soon!! They are awesome!!!

This morning we met two of our really good friends for brunch at one of our favorite places, M Henry's and had a great time! So, all in all, a great weekend:) Next weekend is going to be a great one as well because we are going to IA to see our friends Jess & Bry and their daughter (who is our Goddaughter). We haven't gotten to see them in a while, so we are definitely looking forward to it!! And the weekend after that, we pick up the baby's furniture and we get to put that together, which we are looking forward to:) Lots of good stuff coming up!!!

We are hoping this week is going to bring some good news from DCFS, but we shall see:) IL is not known for getting anything done quickly!! If we get approval from DCFS this week, then that means it is off to CIS to get the big kahuna, our I-171H, which means the US Gov't. approves us for our adoption:) And then from there it is all forward to Kaz...

I guess that is enough jabbering for tonight;) Plus I have to go watch my NY Giants play some football!!! And hopefully win:) GO G-MEN!!!!! I have to put my jersey on - I hope it doesn't jinx them!!! Uh Oh. Looks like the Pats are about to score...not good...

I've Been Tagged!!!

Alright, I'm it! I have been tagged by Susan (FL), Kelly, Amanda and Jennifer M. Sorry girls for the late reply to the tag - I have been a bit behind on my blogging!!

So, here are the the rules:

• link the person who sent this to you and leave a comment on their blog so their readers can visit yours.
• Post the rules on your blog
• Share 7 strange/weird facts about yourself

Here goes:

1. I have a pretty decent sized tattoo on my lower back (yes, a tramp stamp) that I got this past summer. Better late than never:) And I plan to get another one for Vaughn when we get home.

2. Two of my favorite odd things (not at the same time) to eat are Peanut Butter & Fluff, and Swiss Miss Hot Cocoa Mix right out of the envelope (easy low calorie way to get my chocolate fix in a pinch!!)

3. I have sensory issues - teeth scraping on a fork is like nails on a chalkboard to me (oddly enough nails on a chalkboard doesn't bother me - it's a metal thing)

4. I am OCD when it comes to Lotion. I put in on every morning and every night (all over), and if I do not have any in my purse - it's a crisis!!!

5. I studied for 6 months in France my junior year of college and let me tell you, there was not much studying going on but somehow I managed great grades! Word of advice, never drink French beer, it gives you a killer hangover!!

6. I am deathly afraid of sharks to the point where I will not go on a cruise because I have this insane fear of the boat sinking and being surround by sharks (I saw Jaws way,way too young!!).

7. I have long legs and my pants have to touch the ground whether I am wearing heels, or flats.

8. I eat M&Ms in twos or fours, and greens are always the last ones eaten...

There you go - 8 weird and strange facts about yours truly. And now I am off to tag some people and I promise not to tag you if you have already been tagged!!

PS - We bought a great book for Little Vaughn called "Borya and the Burps" and I love it. It is about Eastern European adoptions, but it translates to all adoptions. It is from a kid's perspective which I thought was fantastic. I highly recommend it:)

Hope everyone is doing well!!

Holla!! Great Friends, Great Times

I am finally back in the blogging arena:) Work and life have been hectic and I have not had time in the past week to post or catch up yet on others' blogs.

This weekend was absolutely fantastic!! Every year around this time, Jamie and I, along with many of our close friends, go to Galena and rent a house in Eagle Ridge Resort. This was the 8th year we have been doing it and every year it just gets better. It is a way for all of us to take a weekend out (sans kids) and just reconnect. While some of us live close to each another, others do not and this is our one traditional weekend a year to get together, have some fun, and relax. I will say, after the past six months of crazy adoption "stuff" we were looking forward to this weekend more than ever. And it did not disappoint...I haven't laughed that hard in a long time. Unfortunately this year, we were missing some key players who could not make it and we missed them incredibly!! We are looking forward to next year already and having everyone there!! Needless to say, it was a much needed weekend away:) Not to mention getting to spend quality time with people we love and hold dear to our hearts.

And then to top it off, Jamie and I went to Dubuque, IA to see Jen, one of my closest and oldest friends (we go back to junior high), and her boyfriend Bryan. Even though it was a short visit, I was glad we were able to go and spend some time with them. Jen got us the cutest baby gifts. She gave us a little photo album that will be put to great use, and a really cool teething toy for the Little Man! I can't wait to give it to him in Kaz:) All in all, a great weekend!!

On the adoption front, things are status quo. We are waiting for DCFS approval and expect to hear from them hopefully next week!!! Although it would be great if we got approval this week, but no expectations at all;) Jamie and I are working hard on making sure all else for the dossier is in good working order so we can send everything in for translation (minus the 171H) next month. March is looking like dossier submittal month, which is very exciting indeed!!!

On another adoption front, I cannot reiterate enough how happy we are that we switched agencies. There have been some additional pieces of information learned about our old agency that have really worked to reinforce why we switched. We are just so incredibly happy with our new agency!!

Also, I wanted to give a special shout out to our friends Ethan and Jill, who are having a baby in June and just found whether they are having a boy or girl:) I am not going to publicly divulge, but we are super excited for them and can't wait for our little ones to meet. And I can't wait for Jill and I to do some damage in the baby shopping department:)

Hope everyone has had a fabulous weekend and has a fantastic week!!! I for one, plan on having a great week, and I am already looking forward to next weekend for two reasons: 1. We have plans on Saturday meet up with two couples who have adopted from Kaz, and 2. My G-Men are in the Superbowl!!! I cannot wait to watch the game complete in my old school Joe Morris jersey (#20 and the running back on the 1986 Superbowl Champion Giants).

Good luck to all of those in country, travelling to Kaz, waiting for LOIs, paper chasing, etc. May good things come quickly to all:)

Progress At Last!!!

After 6 very LONG months, and a switch of agencies, our Home Study is finally out the door to DCFS here in Illinois!! Whoo hoo!! Now we just have to wait 3 more weeks for approval from DCFS and then it is on to CIS:) At long last we finally feel like we are moving forward with our adoption and we are so excited about it!!! One step closer to Kaz and our Kazman!

On another note, I think my SBP has ESP. I was having another rough day (we are on deadline at work) and when I came home, another package with loads of goodies for Vaughn. The cutest pacifier and fire truck I have ever seen! Plus, a baseball and football to hang on the car seat or stroller, and two adorable tops for him! I love my SBP!!! Thanks for making me smile again today!

Also, I wanted to share one of my favorite websites just in case adoptive moms/parents out there have not come across it while web surfing: http://notshowing.com/store/Scripts/default.asp
I think my top two are "Pregnant On Paper" and "Adopting: Bump Not Required" (I will have to get one of these for my baby shower). Plus there is cute stuff for your little ones:)

Hope everyone is doing well and hearing all sorts of great news!!

Thank you...

To my Secret Blog Pal (SBP) for making my week, not once, but twice! It has been a rough week with regards to work, and my SBP made this week much brighter.

Early in the week, I came home to a package from Godiva and inside was the cutest bear with reindeer antlers holding a box of divine chocolate:) The bear of course, is for Vaughn, and the chocolate was gone in short order (with my hubby's help). The bear however, is extremely special. Not just because it was from my SBP and is for our son, but as I was looking through the invoice sent with the bear, I learned his name is Rudy. My SBP could not have known this, but Rudy is the name of my late Grandfather, who was very, very special to me. So this bear will have a very special place for Vaughn.

Now, if that wasn't enough to make me cry already, I came home later this week to another package from my SBP. In it was a pair of very comfy slippers for the baby house that pack down really small so great for travel; the cutest soft baseball rattle for Vaughn that says All-Star on the front, has a mirror on the back & a teething handle; some more chocolate (which in my opinion one can never have enough of); and last but not least (which incidentally is what put me over the edge in the crying department) the most adorable photo album that says Little Champ on the front of it (this will be the album we bring to the baby house when we meet Vaughn). Seeing all of these together made this adoption feel that much more real for me, and just warmed my heart. It was just what I needed this week:)

So, SBP, you hit the nail on the head and everything is so incredibly perfect!! We cannot thank you enough!!! I can't wait to put everything to good use!! I will post pics of the gifts when our computer issues are resolved (yes, they still exist!!!). I am ready to just buy a new one.

In other good news, we finally bought our furniture yesterday!!! I am so, so excited:) Jamie and I both really love it and it suits our personality, the baby's room, and our home!! I can't wait to get it and put it together. I am so excited for the room to be done furniture, pictures and all!! I could post pictures of the furniture now, but I think I will wait until the room is complete:)

I hope everyone is having a great weekend!! I also hope those who are waiting to hear about travel dates, or their dossiers, get good news this week with the Kaz government returning to operation!!!

Strangeness

Jamie and I took another trek out to look at some more baby furniture, etc. And I have to tell you, it felt weird. Not because we were actually starting to look at stuff for Vaughn, because that is fun. But I felt like people were looking at us funny because I did not have a protruding belly (no offense meant to my pregnant friends out there).

Not only that, but not one single sales person came up and asked us if we needed help as we were idiotically trying to figure out how the strollers folded up (thanks to my husband for figuring out how all 4 worked!). I have to wonder though...was I imaging people staring at us due to my own self awareness because we do not look like "typical" parents, or did it really happen? Hard to say at present moment in time. The only person who did not seemed phased by us was the gentleman who nicely told us how much the crib we liked will cost.

So, adoptive parents out there - am I crazy or did you feel like this sometimes too? I, of course, will get over this, but was curious about how others felt.

On the plus side, the crib we like is finally going to be in store sometime this week, so next Sat. will be another trek out to the store to take a look at it:) We have finally narrowed it down to 2 sets. I also picked out a diaper bag (Jamie already chose his). I know it is a bit soon, but I am actually going to use it for work:) Multi-tasking - I love it.

And here is where all of you will find out what big dorks Jamie and I are. Here are the diaper bags (yes they match - unintentionally. Mine is the tote):

I have to say though, they are both roomy enough for clothes, diapers, toys, my purse and personal effects, and Jamie's (on the top) can be used as an overnight bag for the Little Guy. I know, you all can laugh at us:) And incidentally, our car is a Jeep, too.

Hope everyone is having a great weekend!

PS - there are some fellow bloggers who post to our site, and I would love to post back, but you have private blogs (which I completely understand and we are thinking of doing). If you are willing, could you please send us an invite? All of your comments have been so great and supportive, but I have no way to thank you personally.

Finally...

OK. So, I have been promising pictures of the baby's room for, oh, over a month I think!! Here is the start of Vaughn's room. The rocker is courtesy of my in-laws, and we are going to re-finish it and re-upholster the cushion to match the room. The cover over the rocker is the baby's bedding - baseball, what else? :) Of course, once it is all completed, we will post a new picture.

Anyway, we hope everyone had a fabulous New Year!! Jamie and I (and his sister) spent quality time with some of our close friends. We had an awesome time, and it was the perfect way to ring in 2008. Jamie and I are looking forward to the new year and everything it has in store for us. It is no doubt going to be an amazing year!!! How can it not be? Our son will finally be home!!!

Thank you to all who have given their sage advice on what to bring to Kaz, buy for the baby, and other recommendations! It is going to be a huge help to us. Anything else anyone thinks of, please feel free to let us know:)

Also, we have updated our blog to receive anonymous comments. It occurred to us that some of our friends and family might not have Google accounts. If you click on the comments link under the post, the option should be there. If not, please let us know!!

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL!!! May 2008 bring much love, happiness and laughter to you:)